Postingan

Perjalanan Baru

Gerimis malu-malu turun subuh ini, di perjalanan sepekan kedepan. Ternyata selalu ada hal baru yang bisa kita alami, ya? Ini pertama kalinya aku menggeret koper tua kecil milik orang tuaku. Yang sebelumnya koper ini pun ikut berpetualang ketika beberapa tahun silam kakak sering bolak-balik semarang jakarta. Ada beberapa stiker bekas penerbangan menempel pada permukaannya, berupa barcode. Kemarin aku iseng menyeletuk, apa aku beli koper baru, ya? Lantas mama segera mengamini. Dan aku pun terheran karena ingat betul waktu itu kakak sangat ingin beli koper baru, tetapi orangtuaku bilang, kan ada koper ini. Kenapa ketika aku mengatakannya langsung dibolehkan? Mama menjelaskan kalau kondisinya berbeda, lalu aku manggut-manggut mendengarnya. Koper baru terdengar menarik, tetapi yang lama juga teramat sayang untuk disisihkan, sebab kenangannya bukan satu dua saja. Entahlah, kita lihat besok ya.  Maka sekarang aku disini, duduk di kursi tegak kereta api, dalam balutan jaket yang warnanya t...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

Tulisanmu

Jangan kira aku tak membaca tulisanmu Because I do, at times, secretly Mencari tahu apa yang terbaru Apa lagi yang kamu ceritakan kali ini?  Kamu kira siapa yang mendorongku menulis?  Banyumas, 25 Agustus 2023
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

When a special day went 'meh'

Gambar
Birthday means special day, they said Birthday means another year to celebrate Birthday means you survived another year  Birthday means you can just set anything you want to do on that day So I did; making plans to make myself feel special, at least on that single day But actually, nothing really special happened on that day I just went for another hours in the library, gradually completing my revision But I met some friends and I'm grateful at least I'm not alone Small progress still a progress, right? So there I was, doing my routine It's nice to have some friends around you; to discuss, or rumble, or just throw some dumb jokes at each other (I hope they're not bored of them yet lol)  Because we're all in this together, even tho each of us are indeed on different stages Having them keeps you sane on your days So I did receive happy birthdays, kind wishes etc, which I'm so grateful for But as we know, sometimes being an adult is not having things as exciting as...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

A mental shift?

Growing up, I was the youngest child. I am the youngest in this house. I used to be having people around me: all my three siblings, my parents, and our cats. Life is full of people. But as time goes by, I can sense that everything does change. I am still the youngest, but all my siblings already built their own little family, each of them. So it’s just me and my parents, whereas we are all kinda busy and barely really speak to each other. I’m having my routine for going to Pwt, and my parents have their own schedule. We usually eat at home separately, but it’s just now we eat together at the dining table because it was Ramadhan, we do suhoor and iftar here. But besides that, I think we lack quality time. Maybe my parents think that I am already a grown-up that is independent, which is true, but actually, I also need my time with them, having conversations. Little talk is okay, as long as we always keep in touch, and care for each other.  You know, the usual or typical youngest chil...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

Bahagiakah?

 Are you happy? With this fame, do you feel proud of yourself? Do you find it exciting and happy to be recognized like this? When actually the most important thing is how you work your ass off What exactly that I need to gain what I want? What exactly the thing that I should do so I can be a good leader? Mom was right, once you are arrogant.. it won't be good for you I can't do everything by myself, I need my friends But what am I supposed to do actually? I tried but, it's still not that good enough I just feel proud of nothing? Do I really feel that way? But, why de? There's no such a thing like guidance from your senior Just because you never asked, they thought that we were okay When actually we don't We just don't know how to tell them I wanted to tell them that we are blind in direction This house is not that stable, if you don't leave it without a good foundation Please, guide us.. we're just wondering and have no idea about all of this Being a lea...
1 komentar
Baca selengkapnya

Lari

Kalau aku gundah, kemana lariku? Kalau aku sedih, kemana lariku? Kenapa aku justru berlari kepada hal hal yang tidak bisa menjamin tenangku? Kenapa aku tidak melakukan yang seharusnya, mencari ketenangan hanya pada-Nya? YaAllah.. dea masih perlu banyak belajar YaAllah.. dea masih hambamu yang lalai YaAllah.. dea masih banyak mengeluh YaAllah.. dea masih belum tuntas menunaikan tanggung jawab YaAllah.. dea masih belum selesai dengan diri sendiri YaAllah.. beri kekuatan, beri keyakinan  YaAllah.. pengen cerita ke orang tapi mereka pun punya masalahnya masing masing YaAllah.. maaf dea mengeluh kepada-Mu sedang diluar sana masih banyak yg lebih tak beruntung Kenapa aku tuliskan disini bukannya kurangkai ke langit? Catatan ini mungkin sebuah pengingat bahwa aku pernah di titik rendah Bahwa aku tak bisa disangkal masih lemah Bahwa aku pernah merasa tak terarah Bahwa aku masih perlu belajar komunikasi Bahwa aku masih perlu belajar koordinasi Masih banyak tanggung jawab yang musti dituntas...
1 komentar
Baca selengkapnya

Apresiasi

 Disclaimer : You're human after all Kenapa apresiasi dan perasaan bahwa diri ini dihargai terasa masih sangat jarang? Kenapa banyak yang tak mengerti, bahwa aku pun ingin diapresiasi kadang kali Tak perlulah setiap saat, melainkan hanya sesekali Hati pun menghangat ketika mengetahui diri ini diapresiasi dan dihargai Apakah mungkin hal ini yang hilang, sehingga kita kurang erat sebagai keluarga? Aku pernah sudah bersusah susah berpayah payah mencoba membantu, tetapi dibalas hanya dengan terima kasih yang tidak sungguh sungguh disampaikan Entah, aku tak ingat.. karena aku merasa aku nggak dihargai. Waktu dan pikiran yang aku kerahkan, seperti emang udah semestinya kaya gitu dan diluar tanggung jawabnya. Bukan salahnya aku lelah hati lelah pikiran, sampai akhirnya kita sama sama meledak di waktu yang bersamaan karena sampai di titik jenuh. Kau berteriak dan begitu pula aku. Hanya saja, mungkin reaksiku terkesan berlebihan, karena orang lain nggatau betapa tertekannya aku, karena pada...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya